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Professor Edward Lobb in his essay "The Turn of the Screw, King Lear, and Tragedy" has drawn attention to a striking similarity between Henry James's story .

College admissions officers are likely to appreciate the overall clarity and meticulousness of Richard's essay. Richard establishes and maintains a self-deprecating and humble voice throughout his writing His willingness to be honest about his shortcomings shows that he is sure of himself and also tells colleges that he has a healthy self-concept and isn't afraid of failing.

By not boasting about athletic prowess, Richard demonstrates a valuable quality of self-assuredness that colleges admire. College admissions officers read many essays about sports, especially from applicants that are more interested in playing sports at college than getting an education.

Self-congratulatory essays have the effect of distancing you from the authentic qualities of successful college students and are therefore never a good idea.


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Richard's essay has nothing to do with heroism. He is not claiming to be a star or over-inflating his abilities and his honesty is refreshing.

Descriptive Essay - The Baseball Diamond - Words | Bartleby

His essay perfectly satisfies every aspect of the prompt by presenting a clear moment of failure and a significant lesson learned without blowing his accomplishments out of proportion. Richard's essay would be appropriate in most but not all situations. If he were hoping to play a sport competitively for a college, this would be the wrong essay.

How to write Descriptive Essays in AD IB Exams? By Sir Rana Fraz

It would not impress NCAA scouts or make him likely to be recruited. This essay would be best for universities more interested in his personality than his baseball skills. Any college looking for mature, self-aware applicants with affable personalities would be drawn to Richard's story of failure. Always keep in mind that the purpose of the Common Application essay is for colleges to learn who you are. Richard succeeds in making a good impression by being a strong and engaging writer with a positive sense of self.

Most would agree that he seems like the type of student who would be a useful addition to the campus community. While the essay is successful, keep in mind that your own essay needs to have nothing in common with this sample and you should not use it as a model.

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There are innumerable ways to approach the idea of a challenge, setback, or failure and your essay needs to be true to your own experiences and personality. Share Flipboard Email. I make direct eye contact with the man who bumped into me and he looks me in the eye, looks at my shirt, tells me how sorry he is, and then I just shake my head and keep walking. Before I am able to get back to my seat, I hear the crack of a bat, followed by an uproar from the crowd.

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Everyone is standing, clapping, and cheering. I missed a home run. I find my aisle and ask everyone to excuse me as I slip past them to my seat.

Excuse me. Thank you. Halfway to my seat I can hear discarded peanut shells crunch beneath my feet, and each step is marked with a pronounced crunch. When I finally get to my seat I realize it is the start of the seventh inning stretch.

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Getting in the Game: Modeling Descriptive Writing on Sports Reporting

I quickly eat my hot dog and wash it down with what is left of my soda pop. It is wonderful to see the overwhelming amount of players on one team from around the world: Japan, the Dominican Republic, the United States, Canada, and Venezuela. The history backdrop of baseball can be traced in the 18th century when people played a game somewhat similar to baseball by their own established informal rules with the help of improvised equipment.

The sport gained more popularity in the s which resulted into the establishment of many national baseball clubs. Baseball was first mentioned in United Sates in Pittsfield, Massachusetts in A British sportswriter by the name of Henry Chadwick would then publish an article in speculating that the sport was derived from the British game known as rounders, which he had played while still a young boy in Britain.

Albert Spalding, the baseball executive disagreed and claimed that the sport was founded in America. A commission was set up to settle the matter and after three years, it was concluded that Abner Doubleday invented the sport. Doubleday was declared the father of baseball fifteen years after his death.


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